Have you ever sat on a fence? I’m talking one of those pointy wood fences or let’s say, a chain link motherfucking fence… Have you ever sat on a chain link fence, just paralyzed by indecision but can’t make a gosh darn move?
There I sit.
Limbo. If ever there was a word in the English dictionary I loathed more – it would have to be that word. Limbo. To sit on the cusp of something – anything – but neither going over the edge nor backing away from it. Limbo. I fucking hate that word.
There I stand.
Indecision has always come easily to me. As a born people pleaser, I was always able to adapt because I was always able to conform. Conformity is easy when you don’t want to make a decision. Nothing like going with a crowd. It’s so much easier, right? No thinking or spiraling involved.
I sit at a crossroads that I cannot control. The Universe holds my fate, but I don’t even care anymore. The indecision wears on me. The waiting wears on me. The whole damn thing is giving me back the anxiety I lost by giving up coffee. It rears its ugly head and I just want to punch it in the face.
Ever sat at a crossroad? I mean literally sit in the middle of a fork in the road, unable to put a foot in front of the other, one way or another? Here I am, fork in road, head in hand, heart in throat.
I look right. I look left.
I get up.
And proceed straight.
