Contemplations: How Pumpkin Spice Lattes calmed my soul.

Something I wrote last week:
I’m a hyper person by nature. I feel like most things are urgent, that if not done correctly (or by me), they will not get done. I’m like every other Type-A overachiever out there..I realize I am not unique in this aspect. And it comes to no surprise that, for the last two weeks, I’ve been stressed. Over moving. Over business issues. Over personal relationships. Over Ollie wanting to take a 15 minute morning walk when I only have 5 minutes to spare. I’m starting to feel it in my neck muscles, my upper back…my stomach is constantly in knots, my face is breaking out, and I am just not a pleasant person to be around. I‘m not bad (I’ve been far worse), but I’m not fun either. I’m just going through the motions, happy if I can fall asleep at night. Dealing with it if I can’t. I’m just…eh.

Fast-forward to this week:
After reading that short excerpt I wrote last week, I realized this: nothing was causing the stress except me. It was a self-inflicted, non-atmospheric, good old fashioned self-loathing. And it had to stop. So what did I do? I went to Starbucks and got my first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season. And all was well in the world…no stress, no worries, just the glorious taste of creamy pumpkin spice goodness while walking on a crisp September morning…

Which brings me to today:
I love writing (obviously). It’s a release that will always trump therapy in my book…I have been writing in journals, on blogs, since I was in grade school…and it also humors me to go back and read…about the nonsense that was my life before things like responsibility of home ownership…the power of first loves and the heartbreak of first loses…it provides me with a sense of my identity that I am sure I will cherish forever. But it also provides me with that never ending quest to figure out who I am. And just from reading that passage above today, I know I have to become a less-hyper, more centered person. I’m getting to that point in my life where none of this should matter. I am in the prime of my life, with no responsibilities to anyone except my dog. With no life-altering worries besides my normal early 30s debt and mortgage payments. Nothing was causing that stress last week except me and my silly little head. Nothing was urgent except the expectations that I put on myself to make them urgent Nothing was life-threatening…if the scar on my back should remind me of anything, it is that nothing ever is life-threatening until it threatens your life. I have to remind myself constantly about what is worth my stress time and what is not…My mom’s cancer: stressful. Having to work a 13-hour day: not stressful. Not being able to sell my condo: semi-stressful. Moving to another place so I might be able to sell my condo? Not stressful. Not having a guy to come home to: (sometimes) semi-stressful. Not having to deal with a crappy relationship? Not stressful at all.

Which is why I love simple things like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes. Funny thing happened on the way to my second Pumpkin Spiced Latte of the season…I ran into my horoscope for the day…