I’m a planner. Like a big pre-planner. As in I like pre-production and post-production, but actual production, no thanks. So it comes to no one’s surprise that when there is even the slightest crinkle in a plan, I freak out. I obsess. I basically breakdown and have to dig myself out of the self-induced depression, or lay low until it eventually works itself out.
And it always works itself out.
That’s the thing, I’m a strong believer in fate and karma and predetermination, but I can’t let things not affect me. You know, “sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me?” Well, I can never let it go. I take everything personally. And who knows if it’s my upbringing or just my innate personality, but I usually cannot not take something personally. I truly wish I could let everything ride, go with the flow, bounce it off of me, but no, I was not blessed with a rubber psyche, I take everything to heart and have the need to psychoanalyze everything. How the plan didn’t go my way, why it didn’t go my way, what went wrong, etc. et al. When really, all I should really be doing is being ecstatic that Lost is on, and I finished the RedEye crossword puzzle.
And while it would be nice to come home to someone to hug, hand me a glass of wine, and tell me everything’s going to be alright, I’ll settle for what I have now: a dog who jumps on me, wags his tail, and doesn’t care what today brought, just as long as he’s fed on time.
You can’t take on everyone else’s inventory. You can’t plan everything, cause nothing is perfect. And above all else, you must trust that out of challenges comes inspiration…
or just rambling blog posts…
huh, look at that….everything worked itself out….
