Happy Valentine’s Day!
Yes, even this bitter romantic at large likes Valentine’s Day (although I did mention to someone today that the sugar heart cookies tasted a little bitter…) But come on, how can you not love a day full of love? Beyond the commercialism of it all, beyond Hallmark greetings and wilted flowers, I still truly believe in love…like today, driving home, I see so many people in the world, just going about their daily routine, and I think, they are living, they are breathing just like me, and someone out there is waiting for them to get home, waiting to hear their voices, and someone is waiting to hold their hand… and somehow, knowing that I am part of that world, makes me happy. Yes, I’m single, and yes, I’m fine! I still believe that in this humongous world we live in that there is still one (or two…or three…or five) love (s?) of my life waiting for me. Timing is everything. I believe in that (although somehow writing it down trying to justify it into writing makes it seem like I dont…but I digress…)
There are people out there who are just waiting for me to break into their world and fill it with love and joy and all that crap. Yes, I’m a romantic. Yes, I am loyal to a fault. and Yes, I am learning that you can’t really count on anyone but yourself these days for recognition, for love, for positive feedback, for anything really. we have become so self-sufficient that sometimes I wonder how I could possibly fit the love of my life into my already hectic and chaotic life…in a world where everything can be ordered from the Internet, and if you wanted to hide from the world you could and still survive, how are we still finding time for love? Everyone I have talked to (who are in or have been in love) tell me that they were not looking for it, it just happened, it was one of those destiny’s phenomenons that happen in life…and they are perfectly happy (by no means perfect, by no means happy all the time), but they are going on their 2nd, 5th, 35th years together. And that makes me happy. That they found love. That people I love find love. That people all over the world find love everyday.
Today used to depress me. Dont get me started on the Valentine’s Day Massacre in high school when I was the only one in my class NOT to receive a carnation from someone (but I went on to become the homecoming queen, so don’t feel too bad). I used to loathe this day to the ultimate extreme. People making out in the halls, bus stops, classrooms, psh, like I needed someone on my arm to validate my life. But then something happened, unexpectedly (like it always does), and my icy facade began to melt away. What was it?
I fell in love.
Head over heels, can’t breathe without you love. The love they write about. The love they sing about. I, bitter romantic at large, was lucky enough to experience that kind of love.
And like all good things, it came and it went, but not without leaving a lasting impression on my now somewhat jaded heart. Sure there were tears, Sure there were letters written and pictures burned and all that stuff associated with the fall that comes from the cloud 9 plunge into reality, but for me, it was worth it. It made a believer out of me. And sure, I still take a bitter bite of the Valentine’s Day chocolate…but I know that it will happen again, I am almost positive it will. And for now, I have people who love me. I have friends who bring me Valentine’s Day chocolates to bring a smile to my face. I have family who sends me flowers (even if they are virtual ones) to make sure I know I am loved. And I have a dog whose sole purpose is to love me unconditionally. I feel lucky to have fallen in love. And somehow, reading the two chapters from my “unpublished” novel “Midlife Crisis of a Teenager”, makes me even more optimistic for my future love(s?)
Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope you know that I love you all.
**To read excerpts from “Midlife Crisis of a Teenager”, click on the upper right corner button entitled “Excerpts from my Memoirs”**
